


Footsteps in the Dust

by litra



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bandits & Outlaws, Cowboy Lucifer, Cowboy Sam, Cowboys & Cowgirls, Ghosts, M/M, Soldier Sam, Soldiers, not real native american history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6961972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is an officer in the army who is tasked with delivering orders to the front in the Mexican-American war. He hires Lucifer to get him across the desert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Footsteps in the Dust

**Author's Note:**

> The glorious art for this fic can be found Here: http://theartbluebox.tumblr.com/post/144881490022/title-author-fangirl-litra-pairing-sam

_In the summer of my twenty-third year I, First Lieutenant Samuel Winchester was tasked by Brigadier General Singer to join my brother Major Dean Winchester at Fort_ _Fremont, and deliver unto him new orders regarding the status of the front in the ongoing disagreements with the mexican and native forces. This was to be my first true posting - since I had chosen to attend to my schooling in the east before taking my place beside my brother._

_I knew when I set foot in that arid land that I would not come away unchanged, but I could not have guessed how true that prediction would be or how soon it would come to pass. Indeed, I was vastly changed before I could even lay eyes upon my brother._

_I have made the choice to recount the tale of my journey to Fort Fremont in these pages and from there let the matter stand. Let this be my confession unto God and his angels for I have vowed that no other shall hear the tale._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_Though this story perhaps should be started when I got off the train, or even when I received my orders, I choose to start with the heat and my companion, for that is where the center of the story truly lies, and what I remember the most to this day._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

Sam squinted against the sun and turned his horse's head to follow the Devil across the desert.

The sun beat down on his shoulders, and parched the roof of his mouth. His skin was slowly being tanned to leather. Dirt was caked under his fingernails and in the creases his skin made by being in the saddle too long.

The sun passed its zenith and the haze that Lucifer called sun sprites danced over the trail. A burst of wind swept past them, and Sam clutched at his hat, listening to the rattling of the low brambles. He squinted past the grit and saw a little dust devil, just a foot tall, twist around and then fall apart.

The dusty mare gave a soft, nervous nicker and Sam let his hand trail down the creature’s neck, murmuring something soothing. His hand landed on the oilskin case bound to the saddle, still sealed, still there.

Lucifer reigned in his horse, stood up in his saddle, looking out to the horizon, then up at the sun. He swung down, and with one hand he gestured for Sam to stay where he was. Then he hiked up the side of the nearest ridge. His boots dug into the loose soil, sending small cascades of grit down behind him. Sam’s horse shifted. When Lucifer reached the top, the dust and the sun created a halo around him, and Sam had to look away.  Lucifer shaded his eyes with his hands and looked out into the distance.

Sam let his eyes drop. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. Under him, his horse huffed out a breath and shifted.

Lucifer skidded his way back down the ridge, his boots sending up clouds of dust and dislodged gravel. Lucifer got back on his horse and turned them slightly west.

The sun beat down on them.

Sam followed Lucifer.

Followed him like he had when they’d left that town at the end of the line, where the tracks ended.

Lucifer had looked up into the sun and asked if Sam was sure, “Safer and easier just to wait here for the stagecoach.”

Sam had shaken his head, “This is important. Besides from what I’ve heard the stagecoach gets robbed every other trip.” It had been meant as a joke, but it hadn’t been taken as one.

At the time Lucifer had shrugged and nudged his horse to a slow trot. Now his horse found that gait again and Sam nudged his own horse to follow.

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_My companion was a singular man. I likely would not have handed myself over to him so fully had I known what I do now of his reputation. My life would have been quite different were that the case, even though my path was much the same._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

  


“– Sam,” Lucifer slapped his leg and Sam focused on him. From his expression, Lucifer must have said his name a few times. They met each other’s eyes for a long moment. “Get down, We’re going to need to lead the horses from here.”

Sam nodded and dismounted. He ached. His legs quivered, not wanting to go back to their normal function after so long in the saddle. Sam looked at his flask. It was empty. He knew it was empty but he still looked and wished it wasn’t. His mouth was as dry as the ground they walked on.

Lucifer was adjusting the straps of his saddle, making it easier on the animal now that it wasn’t carrying a rider. Sam imitated him.

The trail followed the edge of a dry stream. Brambles clung to the slope with tiny blue flowers blooming at the bottom where there must have still been some moisture.

Lucifer found a path through a maze of rocks and goat trails. Some hours later, they wound their way down into a crack between the hills.  They stepped into the shadows, grateful for the shade. At the bottom there was a small slow moving curve of water that seeped out of the rock and back into the sand forty feet away.

Lucifer tugged up his horse's head and took off it’s bridal, letting it bend its head to drink. Sam mirrored the other man. He squatted down beside the horses and cupped his hands to drink. The water was cool and fresh with the taste of minerals.

“How did you know this was here?”

Lucifer looked up from where he was filling his canteen. He seemed intrigued by the question, as if he’d expected Sam to stay silent their whole trip. He shrugged, “I know how to look I guess. This canyon floods when there are storms. There’s not enough water to keep the river going but the plants know where the water is, and so do the birds.” Lucifer raised a casual hand and pointed up at the cliff wall. There was indeed a nest clinging to the stone.

“Go ahead and rest. We shouldn't camp down here, but we can’t go much farther today in any case.”

Sam filled his canteen, and then checked his pack. He looked at where the other man was leaning back against the wall where the rock was worn into a smooth curve. It turned his back into an arch with his head tilted back, eyes mostly closed.

It was a pretty sight. Sam had never denied himself the sight of a beautiful man, despite what the preachers said. Looking could not be a sin or the whole world would be damned. Action was what counted in the eyes of the Lord, and while Sam had lain with women, he’d never felt another man beneath him or above him, despite how often he’d thought of it.

Sam’s eyes trailed down his guide’s chest and caught on the gun in the man’s belt. It was a well-used revolver. The metal seemed to shimmer within itself rather than reflect light back. Patterns had been burnt into the cream colored wood of the grip, winding symbols that made no sense.

He hadn’t noticed those last time he’d looked at the gun, when Lucifer had been brandishing the gun at the man with the red bandana.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

Sam had been leaning over the sargent's cluttered desk. The Sergeant sat behind the desk, leaning back in his chair with his gut hanging over his belt, barely concealed by the straining buttons of his shirt. He’d been rolling a cigarette as Sam demanded to know why the stagecoach had left without him when he’d telegraphed ahead two days ago with orders for them to hold departure until his arrival.

“Guess they had things to do. Can’t be helped seeing as you was late an’ all.”

“That’s why I telegraphed ahead. Four hours should not have been too difficult to manage.”

The Sergeant shrugged. “Look I know you city boys expect everything to be just so and milk and honey but out this way things is a little different.”

“It was an order Sergeant.” Sam knew he had his shoulders back and his hackles up. He had the authority to call for a court martial, but out here he wasn’t sure anyone would listen. Being halfway to nowhere, but not close enough to the front to face real danger on anything close to a regular basis had clearly made this whole garrison complacent.

He’d only been in town for an hour but he’d already seen more than enough evidence to say they were mainly drunks who spent as much time bullying the locals as watching for thieves or raids. The sooner he could get out of here the better.

“Waiting for you means either riding hard to catch up and possibly injuring the horses, or going slower and getting caught after dark. The coach gets waylaid every third trip already. Can't afford to any more risk. They’ll be back in ten days, and you can catch your ride then.”

Sam gripped the oilskin package that he’d tied to his belt. Ten days meant it would be over two weeks before his orders were delivered. Two weeks, and meanwhile good men died because they couldn’t see the bigger picture.

“That’s not good enough.”

The Sergeant found a match and lit his cigarette. “Sorry son, you’ll just have to be patient.”

That was when Lucifer had shouldered open the door and tossed the man onto the ground. Sam hadn’t known who Lucifer was yet, but the Sergeant had. The Sergeant had pushed himself to his feet, and suddenly looked a lot more competent; cigarette glowing red between his teeth.  Lucifer met his stare and let it measure against his own.

Sam stepped back. The Sergeant could handle his own mess.

Somewhere under the stare-off, the man who had been thrown to the ground grunted and tried to roll over and protest. Lucifer’s gun had come out and pointed at him, steady as a rock without even looking.

“Lucifer,” The Sergeant put his hand on his own gun. “I’d thank ya to not wave that gun around in my station.”

“Yes, well, I’d thank you to lock up Mr. Galvez and give me what I’m owed.”

Galvez spat at Lucifer and said something in Spanish that sounded rude. Lucifer kicked him again without looking. The man must have already been injured, because he gagged and started coughing from deep in his chest. He spat up a mouthful of blood and bile; some of it landed on the dirty floor, but it mostly ended up on the red bandana around his neck, making the dusty fabric glisten in the harsh desert light filtering in through the windows.

The sergeant grunted and looked down at the man on the ground. He bent enough to grab the man’s wrist and twist it until Galvez cried out.

“Wait here,” the Sergeant said, and hauled the other man into a back room. Lucifer put away his gun.

Lucifer had looked his way then, and Sam stiffened. Lucifer had ice blue eyes with a strange kind of power behind them, which was only added to by the scars dotting the side of his face from some kind of illness. It wasn’t any wonder that the Sergeant took this man seriously. Cold competence was written in every inch of him. It made Sam’s breath quicken in his chest. Then Lucifer looked away. Sam blinked a few times, dispelling whatever magic had been laid on him.

When the Sergeant returned, he’d signed and sealed a note and told Lucifer to get his money from the bank. Then Lucifer left the Sergeant had leaned back again, intending to finish his cigarette.

“I can’t wait a full two weeks.” Sam had insisted, but it sounded strangely subdued after the interruption.. The blood splatter on the floor soaked into the dust.

“Then take a horse. Hire a guide if you’ve got the money and good luck to you.”

Sam knew the Sergeant expected him to be dead before he delivered his orders. Plenty of guides would have led him out to somewhere where his body would be picked clean long before it was found and show him the sharp end of a knife or the barrel of a gun.

Lucifer had made no move to do so yet.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam said.

Lucifer looked down from his rock. “As you like.”

“Why use the name Lucifer?” It couldn’t possibly be his Christian name Even out here in the backwaters of the world they had to have standards.

“What does it matter?”

Sam could tell it was a test, but couldn’t guess at what answer would please the other man. That being the case, he chose his words carefully, “Courtesy? I won't press if you’d rather not say, but I’d much rather embarrass myself asking a foolish question than spend the next week or more in silence.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, and Sam felt his pulse start to speed up again. The man’s intensity was enough to start a fire all on it’s own.

“When I was twelve I rose from the dead.” He said it like a challenge, daring Sam to flinch. His fingers traced the side of his face. “When I was fifteen I hunted a man across the desert for four days without food or water.” A shot fired and by all rights Sam should have run, should have at least looked away, but he was transfixed. “After that they called me a demon. In this business it pays to have a bit of a reputation.” The last bit was almost an afterthought.

“Four days.” Sam murmured. It wasn’t impossible but at only fifteen….

Lucifer watched Sam roll the idea around in his head and seemed to come to a decision. He settled back, no longer trying to impress and somehow all the more impressive for it. “I found a culvert like this one, and just because I didn’t bring anything into the desert didn’t mean I didn’t find things to eat along the way. Any other questions?” He sounded more amused than angry, but there was a kind of tension in his voice. As if he’d prefer to change the subject.

“What’s your real name?”

That made Lucifer blink and sit up enough to look at Sam properly. “You didn’t ask my name when you hired me.”

“And you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Lucifer hummed lightly to himself. “It’s Heylel, but Lucifer is fine.”

Sam heard the unspoken dismissal. If Lucifer wanted to change the subject that was fine. If he didn’t want Sam to use his real name, he wouldn’t. It was obviously personal. Sam pushed away the little knot of hurt. He didn’t know Lucifer well enough to have earned the right.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_The first days were surreal. I had no idea what to make of my companion and it seemed he did not know what to make of me. With a lack of lies to base our opinions on we had to settle for the truth, and I think we both gave more of it than we expected._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

Sam held his hands up to their small fire. He'd always thought of the desert as hot. No one had told him the nights would as cold as the winters back home. As if reading his mind Lucifer cleared his throat.

“So Sam. You have a girl back home?”  

Sam looked down. He was fairly sure the fire would hide any heat on his face but still.

“Ah, yeah.”

“What's her name?”

“Jessica.”

It was the lie he had told anyone who asked. At least... for the past six months it had been a lie.

“Tell me about her.”

Lucifer’s tone was neutral. It wasn't quite a request, but it wasn't an order either. He'd only known the other man four days so it wasn't really surprising he couldn't read him, even though it felt like they'd been traveling together forever.

Sam cleared his throat and tried to work out what to say. “Well, she has gold hair. She keeps it up in these curls.”

Lucifer hummed encouragement.

“She, she had spirit. Like when I was trying to court her. She’d ask for a kiss and then step back just a hair out of reach. Then she’d ask again. Or sometimes she’d ask for flowers and then braid them into my hair, or her feed them to her horse, or stick them in the knots of trees. She never kept them. She was always moving. She could find adventure even in our little town where we’d lived all our lives.”

Sam reached back and untied his hair, letting it fall over his shoulders, and running his fingers through it. He needed to brush it out properly and give it a good wash, when they had a spare moment, and enough clean water: in other words no time soon.

Lucifer tossed some stray grasses on the fire and watched the sparks spiral up into the dark.

“Sounds like she was quite the girl.”

Sam nodded.

“So what happened.”

Sam flinched. He scooted slightly closer to the fire. All of a sudden the night was just that much darker and every sore muscle from the long ride made him slump a little lower in exhaustion.

“Sorry,” Lucifer said. “It’s just that you were using the past tense.”

Sam forced himself to take a breath. He carefully didn’t shout at Lucifer. He didn’t tell him that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Most importantly he didn’t try to deny it, like he had the first few months. “It was a fire.”

Lucifer nodded. He didn’t ask for more of an explanation, which Sam was grateful for. After a while Lucifer looked up at the sky and sang, slow and lilting, in a language Sam didn’t know. Sam let his head fall back as well. As he listened, a handful of shooting stars shot across the sky.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_I did not know of Lucifer’s history or heritage when I hired him, but looking back I was not surprised at it either. He seemed a man of the world, even if that world was not my own. There was magic in his blood and stardust in his eyes. Indeed, I would have been amazed if I had discovered his origins were as mundane as my own._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

The cairn of stones sat at the fork in the path, clearly visible between the two outcrops of rock. Sam knew it had to mean something, though what was as much a mystery as the paintings that decorated the two monoliths.

Lucifer drew to a stop in the shadow of one stone and dismounted, motioning for Sam to do the same. They waited. Sam considered asking what or who they were waiting for, than thought better of it.

After what had to have been over half an hour a low voice called out from one of the stones in a language that rolled over the tongue and echoed in the silence. Lucifer answered in the same language, gesturing at the stack of stones by their feet. The voice from the rocks responded and a figure appeared as if he’d stepped out of the air.

Lucifer turned back to Sam. “We need to negotiate the right to cross native lands.”

Sam’s first instinct was to protest. He was an officer in the nation’s army after all, but he cut the words short before they could escape. They were only two men, out here in the desert where anything could happen. Lucifer was watching his face and nodded.

“Will you need money?”

“Possible as a last resort, but likely not. The Camanche value action over material wealth.” Lucifer met Sam’s eyes, “One other thing: While we’ll likely negotiate in their native tongue, he will be able to understand English so don’t say anything stupid.”

Sam clenched his jaw, but nodded again. Being treated like a child by Lucifer was worse than when Dean or Bobby did it somehow, but protesting would only make him confirm the opinion.

The man who approached was dark haired and had the bluest eyes Sam had ever seen. He said something and then gestured at the piled stones. Lucifer responded in the same language, clearly introducing himself and Sam. The man gestured at himself, and said one word clear enough that it could only be his name and clearly for Sam’s benefit: Castiel. They sat and Lucifer started in on what they wanted.

Sam felt utterly out of the loop as the other two men spoke. Occasionally Lucifer would lean over and whisper something about what they were discussing, but there was nothing he could contribute. He might have been six years old again at one of his aunt’s society parties for all the good he was doing.

Then Lucifer said something that made Cas look up at Sam in surprise, “Are you?”

Sam glanced at Lucifer but he wasn’t giving any hints. “Am I what?”

“Are you his…” Castiel paused, seeming to struggle with the words. “Bonded,” he finally settled on.

Sam could only guess at the context. In the most straightforward way, Lucifer was bonded to him by contract, to guide him to the fort. He nodded, “Lucifer is my bonded.”

Lucifer said something in the other language and waved a hand, Cas let his head fall to one side, considering for a long moment before nodding. It was another hour before Cas stood and offered his hand. He and Lucifer gripped wrists and Sam assumed they had settled things.

Sam waited until they had mounted up and were back on the trail before asking, “So, what did you decide?”

“There’s a group of outlaws in these lands. He asked that we take care of them if we run into them.”

“You were talking for quite a while for just that.”

Lucifer rolled one shoulder, “I grew up with Castiel’s tribe. He remembered me.”

Sam nodded even though Lucifer wouldn’t see it, and let the silence grow around them again.

“That, and you agreed we were married,” Lucifer added just when Sam had decided the conversation was done.

“What?” Sam sputtered, “you mean that whole bonded thing?”

Lucifer laughed and slowed his horse until they were riding side by side. He watched Sam as if he liked what he saw. “Well, not married in the traditional sense I supose. It’s not a word that translates.” He said a low rolling word Sam knew he’d never be able to pronounce. “It means something like warbound lovers. Those who fight back to back and sleep front to front.” He lifted an eyebrow and gave a smirk that encouraged Sam to take the comment in the lewdest way. Sam blushed. Lucifer laughed again.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_Like his namesake Lucifer could be the very definition of charming, but when he was in a mood, I would not have wanted to be the one to cross him._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

  


On the sixth day, Lucifer turned to follow a ridge around the edge of a dry lake bed. The ground fell away on one side in a steep incline for maybe fifty feet before the clay turned white and spit in a spiderweb of cracks. Sam spotted one or two possible trails down onto the lake but Lucifer stayed on the ridge.

After the third time Sam looked up, cleared his throat and spoke. “Are we going to cross the lake?” Sam could distantly see the other side and knew that was the direction they needed to go.

Lucifer shook his head. “No.” Sam waited for an explanation but none came. After a minute he kicked his horse up next to Lucifer’s.

“Just no?”

Lucifer nodded.

“Why?”

Lucifer looked around and then shook his head, “When we’re away from here.” He spurred on his horse and there was nothing for it. He couldn’t help looking around even as he followed. There was no one around to hear. They hadn’t seen anyone else for days, not since Cas. Except now Sam couldn’t help but feel that there were eyes on the back of his neck.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_There are plenty of men who will laugh at ghost stories, but I think behind the laughter each of us is still scared of the dark. I don’t laugh anymore. I just listen._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

“That lake is dammed.”

Sam cocked his head and waited for the rest. There had to be more to the story than that. Lucifer made sure his horse wouldn’t be wandering off in the night. It was too late now to find anything for a fire and they’d ridden long enough to take it out of both horses and riders. They were lucky the moon was rising early these days or they’d have been trying to set up camp in complete darkness.

“What do you mean? It’s not even a proper lake.” Sam prompted when Lucifer still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Lucifer sighed and scanned the horizon. There was a hill between them and the lake, but that didn’t seem to make Lucifer any more easy about it. “You know the line in the Bible about walking in the shadow of the Valley of Death?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded.

“That’s the Valley.”

“I’m fairly sure the valley is metaphorical.”

Lucifer kept his eyes on their surroundings, “You know I’m a native?”

Sam shrugged.

“The tribe lived around here. When I was twelve I went down into that lake and saw things that no man should see. There are stories, and I can tell you right now that every one of them is true. That lake is evil.” Lucifer’s voice was tense. His eyes went distant as he spoke, tracing the scars on the side of his face.

Sam shook his head, reaching out to take Lucifer’s hand pulling it away from his face as if he’d hurt himself otherwise. “Lucifer stop. You’re not making any sense. If you really don’t want to tell me that’s fine.”

Lucifer slowly breathed in through his nose and let the air hiss out through his mouth. “Right, sorry. Are you sure you want to hear this? I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight, and if I tell you chances are you won't either.”

Sam wrapped his horse blanket around his shoulders and sat with his back to a stone. He patted the ground next to him, “Tell me.”

Lucifer had to be contrary by sitting on the rock rather than next to it with Sam. “The native people of this area call that the Dead Lake. The story goes that it used to be full of water, an oasis of sorts. The native tribes were tasked by the Earth Mother to protect the lake and keep the balance between the animals the spirits and the humans, except something went wrong.

“There are a few versions that say the priestess or medicine woman of the tribe fell in love with a spirit and neglected her duties. Another version says she grew greedy and wanted the power of the water for herself. No matter the reason, she was called to task for her neglect. The Earth Mother was not pleased and she threatened to take the lake away if the tribe did not mend their ways.

“The woman called on her tribe to defend her actions, but they were afraid of the threat from the Earth Mother. They drowned the woman in the deepest part of the lake. The Earth Mother wasn’t pleased that the people had not only acted in violence but had defiled the water for everyone with her death.

“The Mother drank all of the lake water and refused to replace it until they laid her properly to rest. Because the witch wasn’t properly dead. She had enough magic that her spirit remained here even when her body was dead. She’s still out there in the lake and looking for revenge on anyone she can get her hands on.

“They say that she can’t move under the light of day. That the light reminds her that she’s dead, but in the dark she thinks she’s still at the bottom of the lake. She’ll devour the soul of anyone she finds.”

Lucifer was looking at the horizon again.

It wasn’t that different from any of the other ghost stories Sam had heard as a kid. Except the way Lucifer told the story it was as if he’d been there himself, watched it happen. He was absolutely convinced that the woman was out there.

Sam shivered and pulled the blanket closer around him. “You saw her?”

“I did, but you don’t want to hear about my troubled past.”

Sam pulled one hand from the blanket and gently squeezed Lucifer’s leg. “It’s not like we’re going to get much sleep anyway. Tell me.”

Lucifer turned and met his eyes. Sam felt like he was being measured all over again. He waited. He couldn’t see Lucifer’s face properly in the dark but after a while the other man nodded. Sam could practically see the way the last of his walls came down; his shoulders relaxing and his back slumped, resting his arms on his knees.

“My mother was raped by a white soldier when her tribe was killed off. She survived and eventually found her way here, or rather to the north ridge of the lake.” Lucifer pointed into the night.

“The tribe found her as she was giving birth. Apparently there was some sign that said it would be bad to kill her, but most of the tribe didn’t like that choice. My name means light bringer. It was supposed to be a blessing, a protection, but no one really believed it. We lived at the edge of the tribe, practically outcasts.

“When I was twelve I was supposed to start learning to hunt and track but the other boys didn’t want me along. They said I had to pass a test before I could join them. It was just children being mean, but back then it meant everything to me. I went down into the lake on, I guess you would call it a dare. They said I had to stay down there all night.”

Lucifer went quiet again but by that point Sam was entranced. He wasn’t sure if he believed in the woman, but he knew Lucifer had seen something and he had to know what it was.

“What did you do?”

Lucifer laughed, “I got bored. We’d all snuck out after dinner and I went down the path into the lake. I just knew that one of them would be waiting at the top to make sure I didn’t chicken out, but sitting at the bottom of the path was boring. I had decided by that point that nothing was down there, so I went exploring.

“I went exploring a lot as a child, there wasn’t much else to do when no one wanted anything to do with me.” Lucifer paused to consider, licking his lips and sinking into his story.

Looking up at the stars Sam could easily picture it, a child Lucifer glaring up at the trail and kicking at stones, angry at the other boys but also determined to prove himself to them. He watched Lucifer’s silhouette and let the story fill the dark.

Lucifer rolled his shoulders. “I wandered off, the moon was bright enough that I could find my way, and once you’re down on the lakebed there's nothing to obscure your view, so when I saw the light….” Lucifer reached out flicking his fingers as if his words could conjure the images.

“There was a campfire out there on the lake. I could tell it was a fire, the way the light flickered. I was scared but I wanted to know who was out there. If it was really a spirit or just a man who didn’t know any better. One of the other boys maybe, playing tricks on me. If I could come back and tell the others that I’d seen something that would impress them even more, and I didn’t really think it was the woman since all the stories said she hated light.

“The campfire was farther off than I thought it was, what with the dark and the desert and all, but when I finally reached it, I found four men, asleep in their bed rolls. I don’t know who they were or what they were doing there, but clearly they hadn’t expected trouble.

“The fire I’d seen was down to embers by the time I got there. They were around it. There were signs of horses, but either they had run off or something happened to them. I didn’t know what to do next so I just stood there in the dark.” Lucifer trailed off.

This time Sam didn’t prompt him. The horses shuffled. The night was still and silent, without Lucifer’s story, Sam could almost fool himself into thinking he was hearing things, echoes out in the dark.

“She was already there.” Lucifer whispered. His words slid into the silence and made the night that much colder.

“She had lain down beside one of the men. I only noticed when he stopped breathing. Her skin was white. Not white like a man who avoids the sun, white like the clay of the lakebed, and it hung off her bones like there was no meat on her. That was all she was, skin and bone and long black hair. Her hair was what caught my eye. It would have been down to her waist at least, but it wasn’t lying still. It was like she was underwater; it flowed all around her in currents that weren’t there anymore. It was black as the night and even though I was trying I couldn’t tell where it ended and the dark began.

“She sat up and arched her back. It looked like she was screaming but there wasn’t any sound. The man she had been laying with, there was something around him like spiderwebs or dew, sitting just over his skin. She breathed it in and he slumped over. Somehow i just knew that he was dead. Then she went on to the next man.

“I should have run. I might have been able to get away before she noticed me, she had three other victims after all, but I couldn’t move. I watched her lay down beside each of them, kiss them, and kill them.

“I don’t know what it was that made her notice me. I don’t think I said anything, maybe I shifted and the earth made a sound, or maybe she could just sense me and had decided it was my turn, but the moment she looked at me is one I’ll never forget.

“There was this moment where her eyes were big and black, bulging out of her head like a fresh caught fish...and then she must have put a spell on me because she suddenly was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Full breasts and wide hips and legs that went on for miles, and she wasn’t wearing a thing. I was twelve, hadn’t even had my first wet dream. I had no idea what to do with a woman like that, and I couldn’t think. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, I’m sure. ” Lucifer laughed weakly. In the light of day it probably would have broken the tension, but just then it mostly sounded fractured, as if Lucifer had forgotten how it should sound.

“She beckoned me to come closer, and I thought no, run, but my feet weren’t moving in the right direction. Coincidence saved me. One of the dead men was between me and her, and tranced as I was, I didn’t think to go around him. My feet got tangled in his blanket and tried to keep walking anyway so I ended up falling on top of him, face to face with a fresh corpse.”

Lucifer paused, looking down at Sam. “Have you ever been near death?”

“I’m a soldier, but no, not really. I’ve been to a few hangings but I’m not sure if you’d count that.” Sam said.

Lucifer laced his fingers with Sam’s on his leg. “Up to that point, I hadn’t either.

“He was still warm. That struck me at the time. His lips were blue and there was blood at the corner of his eyes, but he was still warm. Then he turned and looked at me.

“I near jumped out of my skin, stumbling back on my hands and knees. Except the woman was on top of me. Her spell must have broken because she was all fish eyes and hair in a tangled cloud around her. She opened her mouth and she didn’t have any teeth, just this gaping sucking hole. I tried to get away but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She reached for me and I launched myself backward, straight into the embers of the fire.”

Lucifer stopped with Sam on the edge of his seat. His hand tried to go up and trace his scars again but Sam only gripped them harder. “What happened?”

“She screamed, and then she vanished.” Lucifer took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. “I think it was because of the fire. At least that’s the only thing I can figure that makes any sense. I fell into the fire and it curled up around me. I still have the scars, my back is a mess with them.” He smiled with a sharp edge down at Sam. “But I’m not a child anymore.” He touched the band of his hat, his belt, the holster for his gun, there were metal pins stitched into the leather.

Before Sam could ask, a shot rang out and Lucifer tumbled back into the dark.

  


~~*~~*~~*~~

  


_In a fight you can tell the character of a man. A battle is a crucible, a man’s first battle even more so._

  


~~*~~*~~*~~

  


Before Sam could react, a second gunshot rang through the dark, sending up a puff of dirt less than ten feet away. The horse tethered closest to him -- Sam’s horse -- let out a sound that Sam hadn’t known horses could make.

His training finally kicked in; he had to find cover. He tried to stand and run in the same movement and ended up falling over his pack. Some instinct made him grab the strap, and the contents scattered across the dark ground as Sam tried to place the direction of the shots.

Sam clambered around the stone, a part of him trying to spot Lucifer in the moonlight, while he scrambled for the gun on his belt. He couldn’t remember how many shots he had after the last time he’d cleaned it. The sudden doubt made his hands shake.

Another shot rang out from his left, closer, echoed by three shots in close succession from the ridge. Lucifer! that had to be Lucifer. That meant he was alive. Sam’s horse screamed again and reared up, this time spooking Lucifer’s horse as well as Sam, who looked up and caught sight of a silhouette on the lake ridge.

He fired off a shot and knew immediately that it didn’t feel right. Something pinged off the stone next to his hand sending up sparks. Sam jerked back, started to fall and rolled with it. He didn’t see where the next shot came from but there was a cry in the dark.

Sam came up to one knee and pushed himself into a run. The figure loomed at the top of the hill. Sam fired wildly, barreling into the man before he could tell if he’d hit. Something hard his his shoulder, his back. The man lost his footing before he could do any real damage. Sam’s gun went off then clicked empty. The man under him cried out and went down, cursing a blue streak.

Sam ended up on his knees. He didn’t see the kick coming until the last second. He tried to block and his gun flashed once before vanishing into the dark. The new man kicked him again, adding his own curses to the night. Sam latched onto his leg and they ended up toppling down the other side of the slope.

Sam lost the other man halfway to the bottom. He couldn’t tell which way was up. The world was a spinning mass of black and white. There was dust in his lungs, and grit in his eyes.

He finally rolled to a stop and coughed into the dirt, digging his nails into the white clay, and trying to pull air into his lungs.

“Stay down you filthy bastard,” said the voice directly above him. He went still, blinking to try to clear his eyes. The man shifted, a moon cast shadow, falling over Sam as he called back up the hill to his friends.

“Hey, I got one of ‘em.”

Sam slowly rolled over, keeping his hands in clear view as he started to sit up. The man snarled at him again, brandishing his gun in Sam’s face. “Don’t move.” Sam nodded. “Red?” He shouted back up the hill.

A voice came back from the top of the ridge, “Got his leg, but it’s not bleeding too bad.”

“Any sign of the other one?”

A new voice, presumably the man with the injured leg, “I got him with my first shot.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. It wasn’t true, it couldn’t be, but the way Lucifer had gone down…. There was nothing he could do, at least not with three men to deal with. He still had his knife at least, but he wasn’t in any position to use it.

“Be sure.” The man called back up the hill. He started to turn back to Sam, and that was it. Sam knew he was dead. Except the wind picked up and something slid over the face of the moon.

The man hesitated, looking out past Sam at something in the dark. Only than did Sam fully register where they were. They’d rolled down onto the lakebed.

Slowly, as if someone else was moving his body for him, Sam turned.

It was Jess. She had black hair and pearl white skin but it was Jess. She smiled, and held out her hand, reaching and beckoning.

The man stumbled forward a step, his gun wavering, than falling to his side, “Claire?”

Some distant part of Sam’s mind that wasn’t crying out for Jess, was screaming at him to run.

The gun fell to the earth as the man stepped forward, letting Jess embrace him. He went to his knees before her, and she bent to kiss his eyes. He gasped and shuddered, back bending in an unnatural angle before he fell limp to the ground.

Dead, Sam’s mind screamed, He’s dead and you will be too. You’re next if you don’t move now. Run! Except he was still locked in place. Still frozen at the mercy of the woman who wasn’t Jess.

“What on Earth?” Another voice asked from behind him. It still wasn’t Lucifer so he didn’t even spare much of a thought to mourn the man. He slumped, not fighting the tears that were welling up. with first Lucifer, and than to be reminded of Jess and face to face with his own death, he figured he was allowed.

Except, slumping meant he could move. He immediately thought of running again and felt his legs seize up. No escape than, but possibly a chance. The gun was just within reach and his fingers closed around the handle without locking up. He didn’t know if he wanted to use it on himself or on her, didn’t even know how many bullets there were, the weight was still a comfort in his hand.

The spirit had spread her arms wide to encompass the whole hill behind him. She opened her mouth and the world seemed to catch it’s breath.

Sam brought the gun up and pulled the trigger.

The bullet hit dead center and passed through Jess’s specter like it didn’t exist. The flash of the gunpowder on the other hand, definitely got her attention. Her hands snapped back to her sides and for a moment the illusion wavered, showing a black eyed corpse. It bent its head towards Sam and Jess was back, angry like Sam had never seen her in life. She stalked forward until she was standing over him, reaching out to cup his face and end his life.

Sam pulled the trigger again and the gun clicked empty. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and surprisingly the person that came first to mind was Lucifer. She brushed aside his hair with a touch that left his skin tingling.

The sudden flare, lit up the scene as if it was midday. The specter shrieked, flinching back and shimmering like a heat haze. Sam gasped and stumbled back as his limbs unfroze.

It was Lucifer. He was standing at the base of the slope, hands held out like the savior, with white fire in his palms.

“Sam, behind me now!” Lucifer barked, and Sam did as he was told, the actions coming easily after days of doing as Lucifer directed. One of the lights flickered. Lucifer tossed it at the woman, holding the second light like a shield. as he turned and ran along the edge of the lake.

Sam tried to watch where they were going and what was behind them at the same time, with only marginal success. The woman didn’t seem to be following them, but Lucifer’s light show had ruined his night vision.

The second light went out and for a minute Sam was running blind. Then there was a wall in front of him and Lucifer was vanishing into it. Sliding into solid stone like it was a curtain he could just brush aside. Sam hesitated for barely a moment, then his momentum carried him forward and Lucifer’s hand came back to grab his arm tugging him in tight against the other man.

It was a crevice in the rock, and by the feel of it, it really shouldn’t have been able to fit two grown men. His back was pressed up against the cold rough stone with Lucifer molded to his front. Lucifer’s breath was steaming up a spot on his neck and one of his legs squeezed between Sam’s own.

Sam found himself looking up at a single star that managed to pierce the black, perfectly situated to be seen through the crack in the rocks. The rest of his world was the feel of Lucifer and the sounds that seemed determined not to let his pulse slow. Every falling rock, every hiss of the wind made him certain that she was coming for them again. Once when an owl hooted, he jerked and Sam pulled him deeper into the crack in the earth.

Sam forced his breathing to stay slow and calm. He let his head drop and buried his face in Lucifer’s hair so no sound could escape. Lucifer smelled like sweat and dust and saddle leather.

Lucifer shifted and Sam’s breath caught at the sudden friction. It was the adrenaline, he told himself, of course it was. They could have been killed. Not to mention that Sam hadn’t been this close to another person in any capacity for quite a while. Getting hard was a perfectly reasonable response. The fact that Lucifer seemed to be hard as well was only coincidental.

Sam swallowed and he felt Lucifer’s lips press against his adam’s apple.

Sam had no idea how long they actually waited there, but he would have sworn it was the longest period of time in his life. The tension slowly eased purely because Sam couldn’t keep freaking out when nothing was happening, but even then Lucifer made no move to leave. They must have stayed in that crack in the rock for hours. Eventually Lucifer relaxed. Sam hadn’t even realized he was on edge until he was supporting the other man’s frame. He tried shaking Lucifer gently, still worried about breaking the silence. His fingers came away wet.

“Lucifer? Fuck! Lucifer are you alright?” His voice was barely a whisper, certainly not louder than the wind and muffled against Lucifer’s skin, but he still winced.

“I’m alright.” Lucifer whispered. “The first shot grazed my shoulder. Didn’t realize it was bleeding so much.”

“Shit, we’ve got to take a look at it. Are you sure it was just a graze?” Sam’s mind replayed that moment when Lucifer had toppled backward.

Lucifer rested his head against Sam’s chest and there was a smile in his words. “I’ll be fine until daylight, but thank you for the concern.” Sam started to protest, but Lucifer pressed a finger to his lips, “We’re safe here only because it isn’t actually the lake. She can’t see us. I’ll be alright until daylight.”

Sam nodded reluctantly. He knew he was blushing and was silently grateful for the dark. His head was all turned around from the attack, but also from his reaction to Lucifer. Daylight would bring reason, he was sure of it,  but if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure it would help.

There was a point in every man’s life where he had to find out what he was made of. Sam had been distantly aware that this journey would test him. He had failed. Lucifer had needed to save him. Hell, if he’d been a better shot he might have killed his companion.

“You alright?” Lucifer asked.

Sam shook his head, then nodded. Physically he was fine but otherwise, he had no idea.

  


~~*~~*~~*~~

  


_They say love is fickle and foolish. To me love has always been like the rain. It seeps into a person slowly, and even if you realize it’s happening, it’s hard to stop._

  


~~*~~*~~*~~

  


Their campsite was a mess. Both of the horses had gotten free when they spooked but they hadn’t wandered too far. Lucifer spent some time looking at the ground while Sam tried to bandage his shoulder.

Lucifer had downplayed the injury. The bullet had ripped a chunk of meat from his upper arm; too deep to be called a graze, but shallow enough that he could get away with stitches rather than surgery. His hands were a mess as well.

“Magnesium,” Lucifer explained, when Sam finally got him to sit down and stop fidgeting. “It burns bright and hot and fast. Only have one rod left now.”

Sam shook his head, “Yeah well, next time stick them in something more substantial than chunks of dirt.”

“Yes, next time you’re entranced by a spirit I’ll be sure to look around for something to protect my hands.” Lucifer smiled and Sam had to concede the point. "Was that your first gunfight?"

Sam jerkily nodded his head.

“You did good, though I’d prefer it if next time you didn’t run straight at the men with the guns.”

Sam laughed, “Yeah, I’ll work on that.”

They spent the rest of the day tracking down all their scattered belongings, and tracking down the outlaws camp. There had been four of them originally. The spirit had taken care of the first and Lucifer had killed the man that Sam had injured on the ridge.  Lucifer had a theory that the spirit had taken the remaining two as well, but there was no proof. They weren’t at the camp they found, and dead or alive Sam had no qualms stealing from men who would shoot at strangers in the dark.

They ended up with six horses and more than enough supplies to get them to Fort Fremont.

That night they moved their own camp farther from the lake and kept a careful watch, but nothing disturbed the darkness. They didn’t sleep.

Despite this, Lucifer picked up the pace the next day, rotating the horses every few hours. It was enough that by mid-afternoon, the bluffs still started looming up before them. There were red and white striped pillars, some so tall they could have been holding up the sky. Sam had never seen anything like it. Everything out West was so much more vast, he could hardly wrap his mind around it.

Lucifer started weaving through the base of the crags. The sun had touched the mountains, the sky was afire with beams of gold and orange streaking the clouds, and Sam’s eyelids were getting heavy as the gentle rhythm of his mare’s gait rocked him to a comfortable haze he dimly recognized as the precursor to sleep. Lucifer looked no better. A stream snaked it’s way out of a split in the canyon and his guide called a halt for the night.

“Tomorrow we’ll head around the bluff. This spit of rock juts out to the south; we’ll circle around it and be at Fort Fremont by midday the day after tomorrow.”

Two days. Sam hadn’t realized they were already that close. Of course he should have expected it, but the days had blurred together. There had been times when Sam wasn’t sure if their journey would ever end.

Lucifer got off his horse and led it into the water, forging upstream.

“Lucifer?”

“There’s a great spot just up here,” Lucifer turned and looked over his shoulder, “trust me?” There was no way Sam could turn away when he asked like that. Because he did. Lucifer could have been leading him into the gates of Hell and Sam would follow him to the seventh circle and back.

The bank quickly disappeared once the walls of stone loomed up on either side of them. The stripes that Sam had spotted in the stone from a distance were actually bands as wide as he was tall. while groves ran along beside them, smoothed into the stone by water and time.

The river wasn’t very deep, coming up to Lucifer’s knees and only brushing Sam’s boots since he was still in the saddle, but it was fast and cold.

 

After several turns they found the source of the river deep in the canyon where it seeped out of the rock to form a pool surrounded by scrub trees and more of those sweet blue flowers. There was a rustling in the brush as they approached and several small birds took flight. The horses were glad to be divested of their loads and seemed content enough on the banks of the river.

"We've made good time. There's almost 4 hours of daylight left." Lucifer dropped his pack and stretched, “I feel like a swim.”

Sam nodded, “Guess I’ll get a fire going for dinner.”

Lucifer waited for another beat, then shrugged and ducked under a low branch, vanishing towards the pool.

Sam dropped his pack next to Lucifer’s and rolled his shoulders gratefully. His mind drifted back to what Lucifer had said about their journey. He didn’t want Lucifer to leave. It felt like they’d only just gotten to know each other. It still felt...unfinished.

Sam made beans with the last of the flatbread, adding some green onions he was surprised to have found by the water’s edge. At the very least they could have a good meal.

When the food was finished Sam stood and headed for the pool. He froze once he rounded the first tree, transfixed by what he saw.

Lucifer had found a mostly flat rock that was still touched by the sun, and was laid out on it as if he had all the time in the world. He was bare save for the bandages around his shoulder and his hat, which was tilted down to hide his eyes. His clothes and boots were laid out nearby drying in the last of the day's heat. Lucifer spread his legs a bit sending out little ripples where his feet were still trailing in the water. One of his hands trailed down his chest, cupping his cock and stroking idly.

Sam knew he should move, should look away at the very least, maybe clear his throat or something to tell Lucifer he was there. Watching him like this was a violation of his privacy, ask any good churchgoing man and they would say it was wrong. Except a part of him didn’t care. It wasn’t like they were in civilized society anymore. There was nothing stopping him from going over there and taking Lucifer’s cock in his mouth.

Sam covered his mouth at the thought. He had looked at other men before.  He could and had gotten hard from the sight of another man, but he’d never actually been with one. It never seemed like a real option, since he didn't have anyone he was that close to, and anyway Jess was waiting back home. Now though, he wasn't sure either of those factors still applied, especially not when it came to Lucifer.

Lucifer shifted, reaching up with his free hand to grab the brim of his hat, or no, to touch his lips failing to stop the way he gasped Sam’s name.

It broke the last of his will. Four long steps and Lucifer was looking up at him. His cheeks were still flushed with pleasure even as his face went carefully blank. Sam didn’t try to find any words that weren’t awkward or cliche, he just knelt and laid a hand gently on Lucifer’s knee. The tension Lucifer had gathered eased out of him again and his legs fell open.

His cock stood proudly from it’s nest of blond curls, the head shining with the first bit of precome. Sam had only the vaguest idea of what he should be doing, but he had a few ideas about what he wanted to do.

Sam shifted so he was kneeling between Lucifer’s legs. His hands fumbled through removing his shirt, and he tossed it aside. He wanted to get rid of his pants as well, but that would require stopping long enough to take off his boots, and if he stopped now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get started again.

“Sam?”

His eyes jerked up to meet Lucifer’s and held there for a long moment. Lucifer gave a little nod. This was actually happening.

Sam settled his hands on Lucifer’s hips. A part of his mind was screaming that he was going to screw this up. He had no idea what he was doing and Lucifer probably had a world of experience. He could still back out. Except if he didn’t grab this now he knew he never would.

Before he could think himself out of it, Sam bent and sucked Lucifer into his mouth. It was salty and musky, even with the cold water still beading in his trail. Lucifer hummed and tangled his fingers in Sam’s hair. He felt stuck. He tried to keep his teeth out of the way, at least.

Lucifer’s cock slid back another fraction of an inch and Sam choked, pulling off. He coughed, one hand over his mouth. He felt his face heat up.

“Sorry I… sorry,” he stammered.

Lucifer shook his head. “It’s alright. Like this.” He guided him back down with the hand in his hair. “Just the head, hollow your lips.”

Sam twined his fingers through Lucifer’s around the base of his cock, suckling on the head. Lucifer let out a gusty breath, his head falling back. The hat fell down over his eyes again and he grabbed it with the hand that had been in Sam’s hair, nails digging into the leather. Sam had the rhythm by then, slowly speeding up.

Lucifer’s reactions, all the little gasps and moans, the way the muscles of his chest tensed every time he bobbed his head or twisted his tongue, was making Sam go crazy. Lucifer was always so competent and in control, and now he was letting Sam take him apart. It felt like a privilege, a gift, and the rush of it made him giddy.

Sam tried to do what he knew he himself liked, stroking and humming around the head, until Lucifer spilled into his mouth. He was caught off guard, breathed in at the wrong moment and ended up coughing. He spat into the bushes, the excess dripping out of the corners of his mouth.

 

Lucifer sat up, and moved to make sure he was okay, chuckling under his breath. They were so close, chests brushing. Lucifer cupped his face, brushing his thumb over Sam’s lip.

Sam wanted to kiss him. It would probably be impolite, with his mouth in the state it was, but if this was the only chance he had, he wanted to take it.

The conflict must have been written on his face because Lucifer made a questioning noise. Sam glanced at Lucifer’s mouth, and leaned in slow enough that he could pull away if he wanted to. He didn’t.

The kiss started slow. Lucifer was open and lazy and Sam took advantage of it. Lucifer’s hands traced over his shoulders, down his sides and hooked into his belt, pulling him closer. Sam gladly rubbed his hips against Lucifer's, the friction against his hard on making him gasp into the other man’s mouth.

Eventually Lucifer pulled back enough to gasp, “Let me?” Sam nodded.

Lucifer opened his belt and jacked him with his own sweat and precome to ease the way. Sam couldn’t help gasping, thrusting into the man’s rough hand. He wrapped an arm around Lucifer’s shoulders, buried his face in his neck, and couldn’t help biting down with a cry as he came between them.

Lucifer didn’t seem to mind Sam clinging to him as they drifted back to earth. After a while Sam realized he was tracing the scars he could feel outlined on Lucifer’s back. That was probably another thing he wasn’t supposed to do, but they did seem to be leaving social customs behind today, and Lucifer hadn’t asked him to stop….

Eventually the light slipped away from the stone entirely, and they silently agreed it was time to get up. Lucifer turned and for the first time Sam saw the full breadth of the scars Lucifer carried. They looked like wings outspread from his lower back, and up across his shoulders. They must have been terrible once, more painful than Sam could imagine, but now they were strangely beautiful.

Sam pulled Lucifer close and kissed him one last time before they headed back to the fire. The food had started to cool, so Sam set it back on the coals. They were quiet. Sam could feel Lucifer’s eyes on him.

“There’s no reason for you to be ashamed.” His voice was easy, light, and Sam couldn’t understand what he was thinking.

“I,” He had to stop, take a breath, “I’m not. I know this doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything.”

“But you want it to?” Lucifer caught his chin and tilted his face so their eyes met.

“Maybe?”

“Then it means something. Here in the desert it can mean whatever we want it to.” Lucifer leaned in and kissed him.

Sam tensed for a moment, then let his shoulders ease and pressed his body against Lucifers.

“That thing your friend said,” Sam paused to lick his lips, trying to remember the exact phrase. “Bonded?”

Lucifer’s eyes widened, then he tilted his head back and laughed. “Yes Sam, I think I would like that.”

After dinner Lucifer set up his bedroll next to Sam’s. They curled into each other's arms as if they’d been doing it all along.

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

_I have grown to consider Fort Fremont my home but when I first looked upon its walls it was with a heavy heart. I feared a chapter of my life had come to a close before it had properly begun._

 

~~*~~*~~*~~

 

They took it easy the next day, riding side by side, commenting on whatever came to mind and enjoying the last of each others company. There was a brittle edge to it, and neither of them mentioned their destination.

They spent the night tangled in each other, desperation giving their lovemaking a hungry edge.

The fort came into sight mid morning the next day. The front half was laid stone and it backed up on the edge of the bluff. Even from a distance they could see activity, soldiers and horses moving with purpose.

Sam pulled his own horse to a stop. For a moment he had the desperate urge to turn around, to run back to the wilderness and hide there. Then Lucifer tipped his head in a silent question. Sam shook the thought away; it was a childish dream.

If being the Major’s brother made Sam someone to watch, showing up with letters from the Brigadier General, an extra four horses and a notorious gun for hire in tow made him a celebrity. Dean dragged him off to celebrate as soon as all the formalities were out of the way. Lucifer got his payment and an extra commission for killing the bandits.

Everything seemed to happen all at once after so long with nothing but Lucifer and his thoughts for company, and before he knew it the sun had dipped to touch the horizon.

It was chance that he saw Lucifer slip away. He dodged the drink Dean tried to give him, and made some excuse. Lucifer was already saddling his horse.

“You’re leaving? Now?”

Lucifer looked up, and met his eyes for a long minute, then he turned away. “If I leave now I can make it to the river before dark.”

“You don’t have to. You can stay one night--”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He looked up again and this time when he met Sam’s eyes there was kindness in them. “This isn’t where I fit. Staying wouldn’t be good for either of us, but…”

He paused and Sam stepped closer, afraid to miss what he said next. Lucifer grabbed his arm, pulled him in close as if to whisper in his ear, and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I won't go too far,” Lucifer assured him. Then he stepped back. He swung into the saddle and turned his horse towards the gates,

“If you ever need me…” He trailed off.

He couldn’t promise anything. Neither of them could. Sam nodded anyway.

It hurt to stand by while Lucifer rode away. Sam watched the dark creep over the land for a long time before he turned to go back inside.

  


~~*~~*~~*~~

  


_Should any man be inclined to check the official records, they will find that I have omitted only those matters of a personal nature - both mine and those of my friend. I do not seek to keep things from my brother or the country which I serve, but my heart is mine alone to command, and it’s digressions are no concern of theirs._

_..._

_I hold out hope, and should God will it, I will see my friend again one day soon._


End file.
